When I woke up this morning I fully intended to accomplish the following:
1. Sing Happy Birthday to Bridgie.
2. Let her open one of her presents.
3. Sing Happy Birthday again over a donut.
4. Write a blog post about the blessings, struggles, and miracles of Bridgie's first 5 years.
Well 3 out of 4 is not bad. But as fate would have it or as my so called life would have it #4 was derailed by something birthday related that I would classify as a struggle but will eventually evolve into a blessing and maybe fall into that miracle category.
As I was loading the kids in the van to head off to school, Eoin asked if I would send in cupcakes to Bridgie's class for her birthday when she returns after her week off. I said probably cupcakes or cookies.
"Well, what about for my birthday (February 10th)?" Probably cupcakes or cookies.
"Well, you will only have to pack my chocolate chips and drink for lunch that day." What? Why?
"Only kids who finish ALL of their lunch can have the birthday treats at school." Huh.
If you have ever been at a school cafeteria during lunch hours, you have likely run into the lunch Nazi. The person who thinks their job is to police the children, shame the children, and berate the children during their 20 minute lunch break. EAT. And EAT it ALL. This Nazi does not care if you are diabetic, have an upset stomach, or heaven forbid have food issues and only like certain things.
And this Nazi believes that every parent who packs their child a lunch expects that their child should eat EVERY morsel of that lunch. This Nazi does not care about things like Autism, sensory processing disorder, ocd, or any other disorder that is not visible to the naked eye. And even then, people with disabilities are a nuisance and should be taught to 'get with the program'.
For me, I have seen first hand and experienced first hand the shaming techniques employed by this Nazi.
She has got no use for the likes of me. While she might not say it out loud, I can hear her disdain and judgment loud and clear.
ALL THAT KID NEEDS IS MORE DISCIPLINE. IN MY DAY WE DID NOT HAVE ALL THESE KIDS WITH "DISORDERS".
Well, yes, yes, you did they just got the snot beat out of them by their parents or teachers or were sent away to institutions because they could not 'get with the program'.
So, since my son does not eat ALL of his lunch he is not allowed to participate in the birthday celebration. Gee. How kind.
Let me paint you the picture of what my child does at lunch. He scurries over to his own table facing the stage with his big bulky headphones on. He hurriedly opens his lunch bag eats his chocolate chips and gulps down his lemonade. Shoves the trash back into his back and quickly zips it back up so no one can see what he has not eaten. His apple, his popcorn, his chips, or his cookie. All of which his mom has packed in case one day he can handle eating more at school. He sits with no one. And he likes it that way. His mom is slightly uncomfortable with this arrangement but is waiting for the right time to intervene with yet another modification for her son. Yes. She is THAT mom. The one that always has suggestions, the one that everyone averts their eyes when they see her coming. No one says out loud what everyone is thinking because then someone might be uncomfortable.
Well. I hear you. Loud and clear.
ALL THAT KID NEEDS IS MORE DISCIPLINE.
Gee. Why did I NEVER think of that? I love struggling with my child to take a bath or shower, brush his teeth, change clothes, sit at the table, touch a vegetable. I love it. It is energizing in the most splendid of ways. I love explaining to my other child, family, and friends why he does everything he does and not to take it PERSONALLY. Because I too LOVE being the center of attention. My husband loves that we have to take separate cars to the same function in case of overwhelm or a meltdown. We are so blessed to have these challenges because we planned on ALL of it.
SAID NO PARENT OF A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS EVER.
Yup, my kids are more 'special' than yours and that's exactly how I love it.
Ugh. So, the morning did not go as planned but as I learned long ago. This too shall pass. I will put away my vinegar and grab the honey and head off to 'talk with someone at the school'. Again.
Pray for me that I can put on my fakey fake face so as not to offend, upset, or make anyone uncomfortable.
Life is brutal.
Life is beautiful.
Life is Brutiful.
LOVE wins. Eoin and I will find our way through this. I will make mistakes and I only hope one day he will understand that everything I did I did out of love and that he will let me say.
Just keep moving forward.