"Birth is not only about making babies. It's about making mothers~ strong, competent, capable mothers who trust themselves and believe in their inner strength"

Author: Barbara Katz Rothman

January 21, 2010. Bridgie's Birth Day. A day that will forever be etched in my heart.

I tried to will the labor pains away for almost 36 hours. It was 29 days early for goodness sake. I finally relented to the pressure and drove myself to AAMC "just to get checked". I had a scheduled C-section for February 19th. Jerry was on his way to meet me and Aunt Tara lovingly stayed behind with Erin, Eoin, Nora, and 3 month old Pauly. To this day Erin asks when I will have another baby so that Aunt Tara can spend the nite!

After several hours at the hospital it was determined that I was indeed in labor and they would admit me and the baby would be born via c-section in the next few hours. Prepped and ready we began what we thought would be our final c-section experience.

Within minutes, she was out! We knew she was a girl but had not told anyone else. We had the ultrasound tech put the sex of the baby in an envelope "just in case" we wanted to know. After about 3 weeks we wanted to know. The paper inside said "Sarah it is!" We had shared Erin's desire to name her new baby sister Sarah.

Well, I had other plans. She was to be Bridgid "Bridgie" Kelly Bryl after my Dad's God Mother and Aunt Bridgie Kelly.

Born 6 pounds, 1 ounce, 18 inches at 8:20 pm.

Jerry went with her to be weighed and she was screaming and I remember asking more than once "Is she okay, Is she okay?" There was not much talking going on. Jerry said "She's fine".
She was wrapped and brought for me to see her little face and I knew instantly that something was different. I was not panicked or scared, my wheels just started turning at a mind blowing speed.
Though I had no diagnosis or doctoral degree, I knew Down Syndrome when I saw her.
More than anything I knew she looked different than Erin and Eoin had in that moment.

Once stitched, I was sent to recovery where I could really see my girl. I was desperate to see every inch of her. The recovery nurse was super bubbly and working quickly so that I could hold my baby. I asked, "why does her neck look like that, is there something wrong with her neck"? You see she had at least 3 inches of extra skin at the back of her neck, I think they call it a nuchal fold? Very quickly the nurse answered "nothing is wrong with her she is perfect", way too bubbily. Then as desperate as I was to see every inch of my baby, the nurse was doubly desperate for me to nurse Bridgie. Almost smashing Bridgie's face to my breast. "It's so important for her to learn to latch". Um, yeah, but not if she can't breathe!

The nurse left us alone. I looked at Jerry and said something like, "Is everything okay with her?" And he said "yes". And that was the last we really talked about anything being wrong with her for the next 12 hours.

Silently, we were both desperate for the pediatrician to come in the morning.

Early in the am, a Dr. from our pediatric office came in to examine Bridgie. We asked about her neck and commented that she appeared different than our other two newborns.
He did ask if there had been any "genetic issues" with the pregnancy. Then declared her perfect.
Man, we were so annoyed. About 40 minutes after sitting there each reeling with our own thoughts. Jerry went to find the pediatrician to ask some more questions. The Dr. assured Jerry that we were crazy and Bridgie was fine.

In my post operation morphine haze, it did not dawn on me to call our regular pediatrician. Things would have gone oh so differently.

For the next 24 hours, 4 different nurses were in and out to care for me and Bridgie. No one said anything. Those nurses were taking my Bridgie stripping her down, bathing her and I know they saw it and I know they talked about her and us and did we know. No one said anything.
I called my oldest friend in the world and I said "We think she has Down Syndrome". "She does not!" "You are just being like me with thinking my kids head is too big". "No, really here's why". List of all the differences. Being my oldest, dearest, and insanest friend she spent the whole day googling Down Syndrome for me.

Family and Friends came and we celebrated Bridgie. For she was this wonderfully spunky little peanut with the sideways glance. I swear her first focused look at me was to give me that cocked headed glance out of the side of her eye as if to say "so you are my mom, hmmm, you'll do".
Jerry had shared with Tara our concerns and then Tim and Deke took over telling my parents and other family members.

I only cried twice in the hospital. Once after being on the phone with Deke and him telling me that Tim had called our mom and told her she had to come to the hospital and that he would come and get her if she did not want to drive at night. The other was when Tara came and held Bridgie and we talked about it and I kept saying "it does not matter, it does not matter what it is".

Later that second nite after my parents had come and the Surlis clan had come, Tim came back. Late. He came in and I was about to ask what he was doing back when I saw his bag. And he said he was spending the nite since I had sent Jerry home to be with Erin and Eoin. I am pretty sure Bridgie slept for a solid 6 hours with him there.

The signs were a plenty and many of us knew.

NOT ONE MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL SAID A WORD.

The silence was deafening.

36 hours after birth a nurse practitioner came from the office. She said she did not think so but mother to mother she would order the test. 20 minutes later she came back and said it was Saturday so the testing could not be done. No one else from the practice came and we were released and sent home with a slip to come back Monday morning for testing.

Testing was done at the hospital and they had to drag some lady from the basement to draw a newborn's blood. Poor Erin was in the room with Bridgie and I while Jerry parked the van. More than 5 attempts were made to draw blood from her little veins. Though she did not cry. Nor did she cry when they did the many heel pricks and shots in the hospital. I feared she could not feel pain.

Finally, we were on our way to wait the many days for the results.

I took her to see Dr. Nguyen, our regular doctor. With much certainty and confidence he said "It's highly probable".

And we waited.

Google never saw so much activity from our house as it did in those days. I learned so much about Down Syndrome in those days. For some reason I was hopeful for Mosaic Down Syndrome. As if that would change anything.

Diagnosis Day. Jerry, Bridgie, and I were escorted into the examination room at the end of the hall with the big desk and the old leather chairs. Dr. Nguyen shook our hands and let Bridgie grab his pinky. He sat down, looked us both in the eye and then with a tear in his eye said "Bridgid's results came back positive for Trisomy 21, or Down Syndrome". Further explanation was given, he had scheduled an appointment for us with Dr. Rosenbaum a geneticist at Children's hospital. She would need an ultrasound of her heart, though there are no signs of heart issues at this point.

We thanked him and we left. There were no tears and no words.
We kissed Erin and Eoin and went back to the work of being parents.
Somehow we ended up in Erin's room later and I started crying.
"How can something be so wrong with someone so perfect?"

Since then we have learned that Bridgie's heart is sound, that she really is not different that Erin and Eoin were, and that she is going to do whatever she damn well pleases.

Our great Dr., Dr. Nguyen has left the practice. Surprise.
Erin has had more than 6 different Doctor's since her birth 6 years ago.

We are blessed. Blessed with three healthy children, blessed with accepting family and friends, blessed to have had Dr. Nguyen for as long as we did.

Jerry and I look back at the events surrounding Bridgie's birth and it is almost laughable how ignored we were. Almost. This story will go to Dr. Graw at some point.
There is nothing for us to gain by relaying our story, but perhaps everything to gain for the next family blessed with a baby with Trisomy 21 who does not know ahead of time.

We are blessed that no one came in and said that we had to send Bridgie to an institution. Or told us she would never learn. Or told us she had a shortened life expectancy.
We will gladly take ignorance over that.

And we are still unsure of a 4th baby Bryl. While pregnant with Bridgie I was certain she would be our last.

Now, nothing is certain!

Link to Bridgie's smilebox

http://smilebox.com/playEmail/4d5451354d444d314e7a64384d7a4d774e7a59774e6a4d3d0d0a&sb=1