Thoughts on Kindergarten....

Erin:  "Mommy who do I look like?"

Me: Ummm, Dora?

Erin:  "No, an expert camper of course!"

Erin: rushes out of the bathroom

Me: burst into tears in the shower

This is my girl Erin. 

My first born. 

The person who made me a mommy.

The person who has changed my life the most.

My biggest helper.

The best big sister to Eoin and Bridgie

My best friend.

Kindergarten is Friday.

I am nervous, anxious, and self-doubting.

I am going to miss her.

I will be lonely.

I will feel like something is missing all day long.

I probably won't eat much or do much that day.

I will be waiting.

And waiting.

And waiting.

I will be at the bus stop 15 minutes early.

I will be nervous, anxious, and self-doubting.

She will be fine.

She will probably love it.

Her teacher will be so smart and funny.

She will make a friend.

She will be a kindergartner.

I would love to tell you that I am okay with all of the kindergarten stuff and that I think it is so exciting.  I wish I could lie and tell you that.  I wish that I believed that public or private education was good enough for my child.  I wish that I could tell you I thought "school" was good for her.  I wish that my faith in other people was stronger.  I believe in God and I know God and that is why I will put her on that bus with that bus driver that I do not know.  And I will pray that he does not decide to drive off into the sunset with my child, my best friend, my life. 

And I will pray.

And I will pray.

And I will pray.

And I will put on a brave face.  And I will listen to her.  And I will learn from her.  And I will advocate for her in any fashion necessary.  And we will both grow.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future".

Jeremiah 29:11