Hard

 

 

Sometimes life is hard.

 

Sometimes for no 'apparent' reason.

 

 

Good things are happening rapidly for our family right now.

 

Our life is full.

 

We are busy with good things.

 

 

Sometimes anxiety gets the best of me.

 

Not sometimes alot alotta times.

 

 

Anxiety is a drain.

 

There's been alot of yelling.

 

Communicating with Bridgie right now requires Full on, Face to Face, Sit down on the floor with me  interaction.

 

This is simple, just not easy.

 

Not easy because of:

 

Dishes in the sink

Laundry in the wash

Clean clothes in the basket

Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, snack, Dinner to be made

'Mommy I neeeeeeeed Heeeelp!"

Errands to run, groceries to buy

Selling a house

Buying a house

Volunteering

 

You know, you're in the trenches too.

 

It's been a few weeks where anxiety has gotten the best of me and it's primary target has been

 

Bridgie

 

 

Yup, this little love muffin.

 

That's all she wants is a smile, a hug, a kiss, mommy to turn on the 'usic' so she can dance.

 

I have learned a few lessons this week and shed alot of tears over what a jerk I have been.

 

When Bridgie is screaming at the freezer for yet another Popsicle, while I am washing dishes, all I have to do to change the tune (pun intended) is turn on the music and dance a little and she forgets all about the 'pups'. At least long enough to dry my hands.

 

Tonight I was able to dam up the channel. 

 

Putting Bridgie to bed is such a joy.

 (unless she had too long of a nap)

She snuggles right into her blanket on your chest.

 

Alot of times patting your arm while you rub her back.

 

She does not ask for much.

She loves us so.

 

And my dam broke.

Tears and tears and tears and tears.

 

I apologized to her sleeping form for my sins.

I vowed to do better.

 

The release changed my whole tune.

 

 

At least for now.