Staring

I used to think Staring was rude...

 

 

Until it started coming from little kids.

 

I had high hopes for this summer at the pool.

 

But navigating the pool with three kids is a high anxiety roller coaster ride for me.

 

Erin is a good swimmer, Eoin is getting better, and Bridgie loses focus quickly.

 

Bridgie's idea of fun at the pool involves about 10 minutes of initial pool time, then quickly running to the snack bar for a "POP!!!", then into the baby pool, back to the big pool, and finally back to the snack bar for a "POP!!!!".

 

She is now even going over to the bag first to get the money and then sprinting to the snack bar.  She runs over grabs onto the counter then looks back at me for the money then waits for me to prompt her "Bridgie, what do you want?"  then she screams "POP!!!!".

 

The pool has freeze pops for 10 cents.  The teenagers manning the snack bar have been great and I usually see them chuckle after she says "tank-oo" and blows a kiss. 

 

With Bridgie's rounds around the pool, it does not make me feel safe having Erin and Eoin in the pool alone, therefore, we still usually wait till Daddy is home and all go together.

 

This summer has also brought about many stares.  Usually, from children but some from adults as well.  For many people, the realization that Bridgie has Down syndrome only set in this spring.  I am guessing because she was usually in a stroller or in the baby pool last year it was not as noticeable.  Now she runs around the pool like she owns the place. 

 

Many, many, children between the ages of 7 and 10 have come right up near her in the big pool and just stared at her.  Trying to figure her or it out.  Usually, there are no words and then they swim away.  The under 7 set are too busy navigating the water and the under 4 set just smile and bounce in the water with her.

 

One afternoon in the baby pool a Mom and her 4 year old were with us and the 4 year old was chattering away with us, wanting to know Bridgie's  name, age, what shows she likes etc... the 4 year old flitted about the pool bringing Bridgie toys and eventually she sat down next to me and she said in a curious tone "Why are her eyes like that?"  I looked at Bridgie and she was sitting in the water with her hands in the 'bubbles', the jet, and she was in her zone where she is kind of staring off into space.   When she does this her tosis is in full effect so her right eye is nearly closed and her left eye is tracking outward. 

 

I did a quick double take and decided to tell the little girl that Bridgie has strabismus and that her eyes track out away from each other, making it hard for her to focus them together.  I then said but she can see just like you and will have a Dr. fix it for her soon.  This appeased the lass and she flitted off and the mom smiled.  She could have meant the shape of her eye but I did not think she would understand Down syndrome and since her mom was there I hoped that she might answer her other questions later.

 

I sincerely hope that her mom would talk with her about Bridgie later but who knows.

 

Another afternoon a little girl about 5 was in the baby pool with Jerry and Bridgie  with no parent to be found.  The little girl was desperate for Jerry's attention and when he did not really give her what she wanted she started 'messing with' Bridgie in order to get the negative attention.  From teasing her, taking her toys, pouring water on her head, and then trying to push her under water.  At this point Jerry picked Bridgie up and they left.

 

Unfortunately for this little girl, there was no parent present to teach her how to interact with smaller children let alone the bigger picture of someone with Down syndrome.

 

You can sometimes tell a parents stance on people with disabilities or differences by the behavior of their children, some come over and love all over her, some ask tons of questions, while others avoid at all costs.

 

It would be my hope that parents we see would talk with their kids about Bridgie or about Down syndrome and encourage their kids to ask questions to them and maybe even to us.  Age appropriate reality answers is what we give.

 

The staring has been tremendous this summer and will continue to grow.  It does not really bother me coming from kids because they are curious and trying to figure out their world, I only hope they have parents who will not shut down their curiosity by telling them only that "Staring is rude."

 

What questions do you have about Bridgie or Down syndrome?  How have you talked with your kids about Bridgie or Down syndrome?

 

I love to talk about both!

 

Discussion will only make their world a better, safer place.