Faith and Disability

This post is part of a Disability summer blog hop, check out other posts by clicking on Spock!

http://www.withalittlemoxie.com/2012/07/summer-disability-blog-hop-faith-and-disability-prompt.html

Fear is the prison of the Heart.

Anon

Have you been to The Red Sea Place?  Amazingly, the Red Sea Place is different for everyone.  Bridgie's birth brought me to this place and God's love transcended it and brought me through.

The Red Sea Place

Have you come to the Red Sea place in your life,
Where in spite of all you can do,
There is no way out, there is no way back,
There is no other way but through?
Then wait on the Lord with a trust serene
Till the night of your fear is gone;
He will send the wind, He will heap the floods,
When He says to your soul, “Go on.”

And His hand will lead you through–clear through–
Ere the watery walls roll down,
No foe can reach you, no wave can touch,
No mightiest sea can drown;
The tossing billows may rear their crests,
Their foam at your feet may break,
But over their bed you shall walk dry shod
In the path that your Lord will make.

In the morning watch, ‘neath the lifted cloud
You shall see but the Lord alone,
When He leads you on from the place of the sea
To a land that you have not known;
And your fears shall pass as your foes have passed
You shall be no more afraid;
You shall sing His praise in a better place,
A place that His hand has made.

Annie Johnson Flint, 1866-1932
Christian Poet

Isaiah 43: 1-3 ~ ..."Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;"...

Boy oh Boy did this resonate with me:

Then wait on the Lord with a trust serene
Till the night of your fear is gone;
He will send the wind, He will heap the floods,
When He says to your soul, “Go on.”

And His hand will lead you through–clear through–

Bridgie

Bridgie came with a special spirit and a joyful soul. Yes, we could say this about lots of babies and people for that matter. I could say it about Erin and Eoin too. But Bridgie has a little something extra, like a chromosome. That extra chromosome is like a personal note from God that says "You can do it. You are not alone. You are loved". The night of Bridgies' birth I came to my Red Sea Place. It was such a brief encounter, that it is hard to remember. I took one look at my little angel with her cocked head angled just so she could give me the "eye" ( if you have not seen this let me know!) and I knew I had to go through. Fear, yes there was fear.

I mean, sweaty palms, mind racing, heart palpitating, legs shaking, cold nervousness in my veins, the taste of bile in my throat.

And as fast as the fear came on the fear had left. But the fear was not only mine. It was Jerry's. It was my family and friends. Fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of health problems, social problems, learning problems, physical challenges. I did not fear these for I had come to my Red Sea Place. And the Lord was there. He said "Go on". And so I did. And so I will.

And so I still have fear for I am human. But I now have courage and faith. I am not afraid of the unknown. I want to challenge the unknown. 

In the morning watch, ‘neath the lifted cloud
You shall see but the Lord alone,
When He leads you on from the place of the sea
To a land that you have not known;
And your fears shall pass as your foes have passed
You shall be no more afraid;
You shall sing His praise in a better place,
A place that His hand has made.

During my hospital stay after Bridgie's birth, family and friends gathered to greet Bridgie just as they had with Erin and Eoin. Because of C-sections I get to stay on longer so inevitably Jerry will go home one of the nights to be with the kids. With Eoin, I stayed one nite alone, and to this day remember it vividly because I stayed awake the whole nite holding him, too afraid to fall asleep. This time I had a visitor, a roommate. My brother Tim came back around 9:30 pm after he had already been visiting. Curious, I said what are you doing here. Then I saw his bag and his Army blanket. He was there to stay. To keep watch, as any good soldier would do. It was then I knew for sure I was in 'a better place, A place that His hand has made'. And I slept. And Bridgie slept.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

I will always have fears, but I am not afraid.